


Flipped!

by BambiDoe



Category: Taking Back Sunday
Genre: Gen, body switching trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-30
Updated: 2016-03-30
Packaged: 2018-05-30 03:12:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6406381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BambiDoe/pseuds/BambiDoe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in pre-TAYF era, John gets sick of Adam's bullshit and takes up an offer to see a counselor. They end up having to live in each other's bodies.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote the original years ago (2011-ish?) on Tumblr and then posted it to Mibba years later. It's embarrassing and poorly written because it was one of the first things I've ever done but, I deactivated my account so, there's no way for me to delete the monstrosity. Anyway, I decided to completely redo it, like I did with my other fic.
> 
> Here's the original for you all to laugh at. Go ahead, it's ridiculous.  
> http://www.mibba.com/Stories/Read/469465/Flipped/

Goddamnit, Adam. Why can’t you just think of someone other than yourself for once?  
We still have another six or seven tracks to record. Of course he’s not here. He’s out having the time of his fucking life somewhere.

We’re all standing around in the studio waiting for him to show up. How are we ever going to get this album done without a lead vocalist? It’s two in the afternoon. Where the fuck could he possibly be? He’s probably hungover in a stranger’s bed somewhere. It wouldn’t surprise me in the least. That’s the kind of person he is.

“C’mon, John. He’s a fuckin’ kid. He’s only been out on his own for a couple of months. Let him have some fun.” Eddie says, picking up his guitar and strumming a few chords before realizing it needs to be tuned again.

Eddie sticks up for him. He always does. Adam is his favorite. We all know, but no one has the guts to admit it.

“He’s two hours late. We agreed to be here at noon.”

The door swings open and Adam appears, a cigarette in one hand and some kind of fancy latte in the other. Speak of the Devil.

“Where were you? I thought you were dead in a gutter somewhere.” Shaun asks.

Adam laughs and takes a drag on his cigarette. I want to slap the cigarette out of his mouth.

He tells us stories about the party last night. Of course, he conveniently leaves out any details that might make him look bad. For a minute, I think about calling him out on it. He’s not nearly as focused on the album as the rest of us. It’s so obvious. Mark and Shaun would definitely want him kicked out. Eddie might too if we beg hard enough. Finding someone to replace him wouldn’t be a challenge. Anyone with a voice can sing and flail around on stage for an hour or so. Hell, the only reason he’s even in the band is because he has a pretty face. Adam is replaceable.

“You okay, John?” Adam asks, looking concerned.

Of course he’s concerned. He’s not worried about me, though. He’s worried about saving his own skin. He knows I’m not happy with him.

“Yeah. I just need some caffeine or something. I’ve been working all night. Y’know, to make up for the shit you were supposed to do.”

“I’m sorry, John. I just—here.” He stammers, handing me his Double-Mocha-Whatever. “You can have the rest of it if you want.”

I take the drink out of his hand and take a sip. It’s not even hot anymore but, it actually does make me feel a little better.

Adam mumbles something about going to finish recording Monterey Peninsula Bike Scene. It’s about damn time he actually does something productive.

“John, I told you to be nice to him. We don’t need anyone else to leave the band right now. I know he’s not the easiest person to get along with, but just try.” Eddie says, setting his guitar down.

It’s weird seeing him so serious about something. He’s not usually like that.

I take a deep breath in an effort to calm myself down. I have to do this for Eddie and Shaun, and Mark. Just a few more months and we’ll get a break from each other.

“Look, if you guys hate each so much. Why don’t you do like, couples therapy or something?” Mark interjects. Eddie tells him it’s a bad idea.

I’m not too keen on it either.

“But seriously! I know a guy who sees this one lady. Him and his girlfriend haven’t fought in months. It was crazy, they almost hated each other until they did a few sessions with her.”

Mark is still rambling and I’m not listening anymore. I’m not even the one with the problem. Adam is the asshole. We’re not going to see some counselor together. Never.


	2. Chapter 2

“I’m only doing this because Mark wants us to.”

Dr. Mendel is a portly, middle-aged woman with short, grey hair. She looks exactly like the kind of counselor you would see in a shitty chick flick. I’m actually a little nervous about this.

“You must be Mr. Nolan and Mr. Lazzara. You made an appointment last week. Correct?”

We both nod, although neither of us like to be called ‘Mr.’. Adam is just pleased that she pronounced his last name correctly.

“Now, forgive me for asking but, are you two in a romantic relationship? Or are you just friends?”

“We’re bandmates.” I tell her, flatly.

We are not friends. We used to be.

She hands us each a piece of paper and a pen.

“I can tell already that there is a lack of communication between you two. That’s the number one cause of failure in most relationships. So, we’re going to do something a little different today. Is that okay?”

She doesn’t give us any time to reply.

“I’m going to ask you each several questions and you write down the answer. When you both have filled out your answers, I’ll ask the questions and you have to guess what the other person wrote. Do you understand?”

The exercise goes exactly how I thought it would. I get all six questions about Adam right while he gets none. He doesn’t even know how old I am.

Dr. Mendel writes something down on a piece of paper.

"Adam. You don’t seem to know John as well as he knows you. Do you have any explanation for that?” She asks.

Because he’s a selfish prick.

Adam ponders her question for a moment.

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “John just doesn’t talk about himself much.”

“I talk about myself all the time. You just don’t listen. You don’t listen to me or Mark or Eddie or Shaun or anybody. You’re too busy thinking about yourself.” I snap.

“It seems like both of you need to spend some time in each other’s shoes.” Dr. Mendel suggests. “For the next two weeks, I want you both to live like each other. Okay?”

Adam and I both nod. Will we actually do it? No. Definitely not. But, we say we will anyway.

“Alright. Now your time is up. I want to see you both back here in a few days to see how much improvement you’ve made.”

I get an uneasy feeling as we leave the office. I don’t think I want to go back there. We don’t talk on the way home or when we get back to our apartment. There’s nothing to talk about. I spend the rest of the evening in bed watching TV. Adam leaves. He’s probably headed to a bar. By the time I fall asleep, he’s still gone.

***

I roll over and try my best to open my eyes. The sun is way too bright this morning. I feel awful. Was I drinking last night? Memories everything that happened yesterday hit me like a freight train. I wasn’t drinking so, I can’t be hungover. Maybe I’m coming down with something. Yeah. That has to be it. I sit up and stretch. All of my muscles feel a little sore. I need a shower. I make my way over to the bathroom, tripping over my own two feet on the way there.

This is already turning out to be a shitty day.

It’s dark in the bathroom. I slide my hands up and down the side of the wall a few times before finding the light switch. Why does everything feel so off? I look in the mirror. Adam’s reflection is staring back at me.

No.

This isn’t right. Something is wrong. I must be running a fever or something. I’m hallucinating. This must be a lucid dream. I’ve had this happen before. All I need to do is open my eyes.

But if it were a lucid dream, I would still look like me, just different. I wouldn’t change into an exact replica of Adam.

I feel my forehead with the back of my hand. I don’t feel warm. My stomach drops.

I’m Adam now.

Looking over at the bed next to me, I see myself curled up in the sheets. I feel sick. My hands are shaking. Oh God. This can’t be happening to me.

“Adam!”

He doesn’t respond.

“Adam! Wake the fuck up.”

“What do you want?” Adam groans.

“Look at me!”

“I’m hungover, John. Stop yelling. You’re gonna make me puke.”

“Adam.” I repeat. This time he listens.

He blinks a couple of times and stares blankly at me as if his brain is trying to register what’s going on.

“Why do you—?” He stammers “Why do you look like me? Do I—?”

He gets up quickly and looks in the mirror.

“I’m ugly.” He wails, feeling his new face with both of his hands. That should be the least of his worries. I think we’re both still in shock.

“This has to be from the counselor. She said something about living like each other. God, I knew that lady was creepy.”

I need to clear my head so I can think of a way out of this. It’s only a matter of time before the shock wears off and Adam freaks out. I have to be the one to come up with a plan.

“I’m gonna take a shower. I smell like a dog’s ass.” I tell Adam, “Try to come up with some way to fix this.”

Adam gives me a dirty look, but agrees. I don’t really know what I expect him to do. Right now, I’m just trying to keep calm. As long as I act like I’m calm. Adam will stay calm.

“You have to shower in my body.” He points out, cringing. “That means you have to see me naked.”

I try to ignore him as I head towards the bathroom

The tile floor is too cold for my liking but, I’m in desperate need of a shower.

Reluctantly, I peel some of my clothes off. I really really don’t want to see Adam naked, but I need a shower, badly. I look at myself in the mirror.

This could be a lot worse. I decide I can take a shower in just underwear. That should be enough to get me clean. I start to unzip my jeans. No underwear. Of course. What did I expect? This leaves me with only one option. I carefully slide the jeans off.

Oh.

Okay.

I run my hands down my sides. Fuck. I didn’t realize how attractive Adam is.

This shower is definitely going to be a cold one. I let the frigid water run over me as I try to think of some of the most unpleasant things I can possibly come up with. I am not about to touch myself. No way.

As I shower, my mind starts to wander. I wonder if Adam gets himself off in the shower every morning. I’m sure he does. What does he think about? What does he sound like?

Stop it John. Think about bad things. Think about the old man that works at the gas station that has three missing teeth. Think about the cat you lost when you were seven. C’mon. Don’t think dirty thoughts. You don’t even like him. He’s a piece of shit.

I close my eyes and try even harder to focus my thoughts on the negative things.  
From the shower, I can hear Adam opening the bathroom door and barging in. I want to cover myself up for a second before I remember that it isn’t anything he hasn’t seen before.

“John. Can I shave off this chest hair?” He asks, pulling at it in disgust.

“I thought you always wanted chest hair.”

Adam shrugs. He’s giving me a hard time for no reason.

“Don’t do it.” I demand.

He sighs.

“Fine. By the way, nice boner you’ve got goin’ on there.”

I look down. I was hoping he wouldn’t notice. Adam winks at me. It’s odd, seeing myself wink like that. It’s out of character for me. We don’t move like each other. Adam sways his hips when he walks and does that weird thing with his arm. I take shorter strides and fidget less.

“I’d help you take care of that but I’ve got stuff to do, sorry.”

I hate him more than ever.

I rinse myself off one last time and reach for a towel. I’m clean enough. I need clothes now. I can’t wear my own clothes. I’ll have to ask Adam for some. It suddenly occurs to me that Adam is now in my body. I feel a little self-conscious.

Adam is sitting on the bed, waiting for me to get out of the shower.

“Do you have any clothes I can borrow?” I ask, opening the closet door. His clothes aren’t nearly as organized as mine are and it takes me almost five minutes to pick out a shirt.

“John. You can’t wear that one.”

“Why not?”

“Because we’re going back to the studio as soon as I take a shower. Eddie just called and told me.”

“What does that have to do with this shirt?”

“It’s too formal. You’re gonna make me look like an asshole.”

I start to retaliate and point out that he is, in fact, an asshole, but I keep my thoughts to myself. We don’t need an argument right now.

“Wear this.”

He tosses me a wrinkled t-shirt. It smells like sweat and alcohol. I put it on, trying to ignore the scent. Adam nods approvingly.

“Should I repaint my nails?”

Adam’s black nail polish is chipping off. It looks sloppy.

“No! It’s supposed to be chipped off.” He replies, “I’m gonna take a shower, too. When I get back, we’ll practice being each other. Okay?”

I mentally add “bossy” to my list of things I can’t stand about him. I can hear a crash followed by the sound of toppling bottles of shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and whatever else was sitting along the side of the tub. Even in my body he’s clumsy.

“You okay?” I ask.

There’s a pause.

“Adam?”

“I’m fine! I just slipped.” He shouts back.

“Alright. Don’t kill me while you’re in my body.” I retort. I can hear the shower running now.

We’re gonna have to go back to the studio. I’m not sure if Eddie wants us to have some kind of meeting or if we’re supposed to be recording today. Either way, I’m not myself. I don’t know how we’re supposed to tell the rest of the guys. They wouldn’t believe us if we did. It would probably be best if we just keep it a secret. Adam’s cell phone rings. They’re probably waiting for us to show up. This is bad.


	3. Chapter 3

“You alright, Adam? You look tired.” Mark asks as soon as we arrive at the studio. It takes me a second to realize he’s actually addressing me and not Adam. I’m going to have to get used to my new name.

“John’s a dick.” I mumble.

I’d like to think that’s something Adam would say.

“You guys are still fighting, huh? I guess the therapy session didn’t help.”

I shrug. There isn’t anything left for me to say. I’m almost angry at Mark. This whole therapy thing was his idea. He should have just let Adam and I hate each other. We would still be pissed off but at least we would still look like ourselves.

Adam is holding my guitar on his lap, staring at is as if he had never seen a guitar before in his life. He knows how to play but, I don’t know how long it’ll take for him to learn my parts. I think he knows some of it. After all, we wrote most of it together when we were still friends.

Eddie calls us all over and tells us things we need to know before we go on our first tour together. I’m too distracted to listen. Luckily, Shaun takes information in like a sponge. If there’s something I missed, he’ll let me know. He keeps glancing sideways at me like he knows something is wrong. I hope it’s not that obvious.

“This isn’t gonna work if you two don’t work things out.” Eddie says, pointing at Adam and I. He’s right. It won’t.

Adam looks up at the ceiling, trying to avoid eye contact with anyone. He’s so tenderhearted. It’s gonna be a lot harder for him to be me than it is for me to be him. I can tell already.

“We’ll fix this.” He says, finally. His voice sounds a little shaky and I hope it’s just from a lack of use.

Thankfully, practice goes a lot better than expected. Adam misses a few notes but he blames it on a hangover and everyone seems to dismiss it. We did it. Good.

At home, however, is a different story.

“How do we get back in our own bodies? I don’t wanna be you anymore. I can’t live like this forever.” Adam sobs. The shock is finally wearing off and now he’s beginning to panic.

He kept his shit together a lot longer than I thought he would.

“If I knew, we would have switched back already.” I remind him. This doesn’t comfort him at all. He bites down on his bottom lip and a small whine escapes his throat. Please don’t cry.

“I’m gonna have to cancel my plans tonight. I was supposed to go to a party.” He says, rubbing his eyes. He’s trying to hide the fact that he’s devastated. That’s just the way he is. He doesn’t want anyone to see him get emotional. “What do you even do when I’m gone, John? Do you just stay home and watch TV or something? Your life is so boring.”

No. Not all of the time. Sometimes I go out. I’ve just grown out of the party scene. I prefer to keep to myself.

“I can go in your place.” I offer.

The look on his face tells me he thinks it’s a bad idea. I don’t think it is. He’s just going to a party. I’ll just show up and stay quiet. If anyone asks what’s wrong, I’ll just say I don’t feel good. I think it would be a lot less suspicious than not showing up at all.

“No. I don’t want you to go. I wanna figure out how to get back into my own body.”

Alright. I have to think of something.

“Do you have the counselor’s number?” I ask. “Maybe I can call her and see if she can help.”

Adam tosses me his cell phone. It’s the same shitty one he bought last year; an old Nokia. I remember the day he bought it. It was one of the first times we hung out together. He was so happy about the fact that it had a camera.

We can’t afford nice shit like that now. All of our time and money has been spent on this band.

The phone number is still in his outgoing calls list. I hit ‘send’ and it rings.

and it rings

and it rings

and then it goes to voicemail.

It’s Saturday. She’s not there on the weekends. We’re stuck like this at least until Monday.

I slam the phone down on the floor.

“Fuck!”

Adam flinches. I think this is the first time he’s ever seen me lose my temper. I’ve been irritated with him before but, I don’t think I’ve ever been this upset about something in my life.

I don’t even realize that I’ve started crying. Adam follows suit, and I’m not sure if he’s crying because he figured out what happened or if he’s just crying because I’m crying. Either way, we’re two grown men sitting on a bed in a run-down apartment sobbing like two small children.

Thank God nobody is here to see us. We look ridiculous. It’s almost funny.

“What do we do now?” Adam asks in between sniffles. He wipes his nose on the sleeve of the shirt he’s wearing.

I don’t look good when I’m crying. I’ll have to remind myself not to cry in front of anyone ever again.

“I don’t know. She’s not in until Monday. I guess we’ll just have to be each other until then.” I reply. “Tell me everything I have to know about you.”

We both try to pretend like we weren’t just bawling.

“I’m allergic to cats.” Adam says, inspecting his new fingernails. “Try to stay away from ‘em. Umm…What else?”

The only time I actually want to hear him talk about himself and he can’t think of anything to say.

“What about the tour?” I ask. “If I have to be you on stage, what do I have to do?”

Adam shrugs.

“I don’t know. I just yell and throw myself around.”

He makes it sound so easy. I don’t have that kind of energy on stage.

“You’re gonna have to teach me how to do it.”

We don’t have a microphone just lying around so, we improvise. Adam finds an old Gamecube controller stashed in a box under the bed. The cord is way shorter than his mic cord, and the controller itself is bulkier but, it’s enough for now.

“Just hold it like…” He takes the controller from my hands and wraps the cord loosely around my forearm. I let my wrist go limp, the way he does.

“Wait. I can’t do it without music. We need music.”

Adam turns on the radio and settles on a classic rock station.

“Alright. Now pretend like you’re me.”

I can’t. I stand there awkwardly, trying to decide how to start. The song is an 80s classic that I barely recognize. I don’t know it well enough to sing along. The controller is still wrapped around my arm. Adam groans.

“You can’t just stand there! You’re gonna make me look bad.”

Maybe if we were actually in front of a crowd, I could get into it. I’ve was in a couple of bands in high school. It’s not that hard. It’s just that I’m standing in a messy apartment with a controller wrapped around my arm, in a body that isn’t mine, trying to dance around to a song I don’t know. That makes things weird.

“You try doing it, then.” I snap. Getting angry isn’t helping either of us. We know that. We just don’t know how else to cope.

First, we’re crying, and then we’re okay, and now we’re fighting again.

“I don’t need to learn how to do it. I know how. You’re the one who isn’t even trying.”

A man on the radio announces the next song. Another song I’ve never heard of.

The only thing stopping me from hitting Adam in the face is the fact that he’s in my body.


	4. Chapter 4

Shaun is like the helicopter parent nobody asked for. I mean, I love Shaun. I really do. It’s just that, he has some kind of a sixth sense. Somehow he knows when something is wrong. That’s why he’s here. He couldn’t hang out with Mark and Eddie tonight. Nope. He decided to come over and check up on us. All I wanna do is kick him out of my apartment. If I had the guts, I’d do it.

“John isn’t planning on leaving the band. Is he? It’s gonna be so hard to find a new guitarist. They’d have to learn every song we’ve written right before the tour and I don’t know anybody who would be able to do that.”

“No. I’m not– he’s not leaving. He’s just pissed off. He wouldn’t do that to us.”

Talking about myself as if I were Adam is something I’m going to have to get used to. When someone mentions “John”, I have to remember that they’re not talking to me. They’re talking about me.

My answer doesn’t seem to comfort Shaun at all. He reaches out and gently rubs my shoulder. Am I not acting enough like Adam? Maybe I need to be more affectionate. Adam can get pretty cuddly when he feels like he’s not getting enough attention.

“I know you think the whole band is against you right now but…” He pauses for a moment, probably trying to think of the nicest way to call me an asshole. “Sometimes you’re not the easiest person to get along with.”

I called it. I totally knew it was coming. But, of course, it’s not actually me he’s talking about. He’s talking about Adam. I’ll admit, I’m glad somebody else feels the same way. Everyone thinks Adam is hard to deal with. Even Shaun.

Apparently, I do a pretty okay job at looking offended because he starts to backpedal.

“I’m not saying it to be mean. I mean, I know you just wanna go out and have fun but, we’re all trying to get this album finished and you’re showing up late and hungover. It’s frustrating.”

If it were me, I’d apologize. Shaun is trying so hard not to hurt my feelings that it’s almost endearing. Unfortunately, that’s out of the question. Adam would fight back. So, I have to fight back.

“Who cares if I show up a few minutes late? I still get shit done. You, and John, and Mark all want me out of the band. That’s cool, though. Eddie wouldn’t let that happen. None of you could do this without me.”

It almost physically pains me to fight with him. I’m not that kind of a person.

“I wasn’t trying to attack you.” Shaun says, “I came over to let you know why we’re upset with you. You don’t have to take everything so personally. Maybe you and John should keep up the therapy sessions. You have a lot to work on.”

I don’t even know how to respond to that.

“I don’t think I’m the one who needs therapy but, I’ll go if that’s what it takes to get everyone off of my ass.”

It’s total bullshit. I’m more than willing to go back tomorrow. We’ll be able to switch back. I tell Shaun that I’m going to try to convince John to go with me when he comes home.

“Where is John, anyway? It’s weird that you’re at home and he’s out by himself. Usually it’s the other way around. You’re the one who always disappears without telling anyone where you’re going.”

I shrug.

Honestly, I don’t know where Adam is right now but, there’s a pretty good chance it’s not a place I would normally go. I told him before he left, not to do anything I wouldn’t be caught dead doing. He promised me he wouldn’t.

Before he leaves, Shaun asks one last time, if I’m absolutely sure I’m okay.

“I’m worried about both of you.” He sighs. “Mark and I were just talking about how weird it was that you didn’t wanna go out with the rest of us. I mean, I thought John might stay home but, I figured you would be down for it.”

He rubs his eyes. God, he looks so tired. There’s only so much worrying a person can do before it starts to wear them down. especially someone as sensitive as Shaun. A feeling of guilt starts to creep up through my chest. He thinks I’m Adam. He’s confiding in me as if I were Adam. I’m lying right to his face and all he’s trying to do is fix things.

Well, it’s not like he would ever believe we switched bodies if I told him anyway.

“I decided to take it easy tonight.” I lie, “I’ve been drinking every night since Thursday and it’s fuckin’ with my stomach. Y’know? I need a break for a couple of days.”

Shaun smiles. The look of worry disappears from his face. If all I had to do was make up something about indigestion I would have done it earlier.

“Oh. That’s it? I thought something was really wrong. You need to start taking better care of yourself.”

I reassure him I’ll cut back and get more sleep. As he leaves, I remind him to lock the door. We both carry our own keys and we’re not expecting any more visitors tonight. There’s no reason to have it unlocked.

Now, I’m home alone by myself in another person’s body and I don’t know what to do with myself.

The nail polish on my fingernails is almost completely gone. I could paint my nails. That would give me something to do until Adam gets back.

Assuming, he actually does come back tonight.

I know he keeps nail polish under the bathroom sink. It’s just a matter of digging through his collection of disposable razors, shampoos, soaps, and whatever else he keeps under there.

Why would he even need two different bottles of shampoo? He only washes his hair once a week or so.

Seeing someone else’s reflection looking back at me in the bathroom mirror is surreal. I have to be careful. This skin isn’t mine. This hair isn’t mine. These eyes, and this nose, and these lips aren’t mine. If I hurt him, he could do the same to me. And, knowing Adam, he’ll do it twice as much.

There’s an alarm clock on the bathroom counter that reads 1:09 AM. That means it’s just after midnight. It’s always an hour ahead. I run my hands through my new hair. It’s fine and wavy. Adam always straightens it. I’ve only seen him without it fixed a couple of times. He doesn’t like anyone seeing him like that.

I know that I came in here for a reason. I’m here to find nail polish but, I’ve gotten sidetracked. I pull my shirt off over my head and set it aside. If i’m painting my own nails without any help, it’s gonna get pretty messy.

In all honesty, Adam isn’t all that bad looking. There’s just something about him that I like. He’s soft and sharp, and rugged and dainty all at the same time. It’s a shame he’s not a good person. Such a waste of pretty skin.

The polish is exactly where I thought it would be; hidden behind several bottles of cologne. When I untwist the lid, the smell hits me like a fuckin’ train. I knew it was going to be strong, I just didn’t know how strong.

Even though Adam and I are both right-handed, painting my nails is a harder feat than I expected. There are black smudges all over the sides of my fingers and the bathroom sink.

I get so focused on my nails that I don’t even hear the front door open.

“John! Are you home?”

My voice sounds hoarse. He’s been out partying.

“I’m in the bathroom.” I call back.

The sink is probably going to be stained with black forever. At least my nails have that messy-hobo look Adam loves so much.

“Oh. Alright. I’m goin’ to bed.”

When I leave the bathroom, he’s passed out on my bed, fully dressed, and reeking of booze.

I swear to God, he better not destroy my body before we switch back.


	5. Chapter 5

“How are you doing today?” Dr. Mendel asks. 

She’s grinning from ear to ear like she knows exactly what she’d done.

“Change us back.” Adam snaps. “We’ve got shit to do. We don’t have time to be stuck in each other’s bodies. Just fuckin’ fix this.”

Normally, I’m embarrassed when Adam loses his temper in front of people but, this time, I feel like it’s justified. We paid her to counsel us for a few sessions. We never gave her permission to use some kind of fucked up magic on us.

Now that I think about it, it is kind of weird that we never had to fill out any papers before we started. 

Dr. Mendel doesn’t even look phased by his outburst. It’s pretty apparent that this isn’t the first time she’s done this.

“Now, you know, I can’t just switch you back. You have to do it on your own. Try to really understand each other and it’ll happen.”

We already know that. She told us we had to walk in each other’s shoes. This isn’t anything new. 

“Look.” I say, leaning forward and staring directly into her eyes. I’m trying to look as menacing as I possibly can although, I'm probably the farthest thing from it. “We’re going on tour as soon as we finish recording this album. We can’t get either one of those things done in each other’s bodies. And you cannot sit there and tell me that you can’t do it because you switched us the first time, you can switch us back.”

She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. 

“Let me give you some homework to do tonight. If you do it right, it’ll get you one step closer to getting back to normal.”

Adam and I accept the challenge. I’m pissed off that she ignored my best efforts at looking though but, there’s nothing else I can do.

“What I want you both to do, is to set a timer for five minutes. In that five minutes, you must compliment each other back and forth without stopping. Every time one of you pauses to think, add a minute.”

That doesn’t sound too bad. We can throw out some vague compliments for a few minutes.

“Here’s the catch.” She adds. “Every compliment must be serious and it must be genuine. If you can't give specific, detailed examples, it’s not good enough. For each fake compliment, you have to add two minutes. Do you understand?”

The tone of her voice is condescending. She sounds like she’s explaining the game to third graders and not grown-ups.

“I want you to write down each compliment you gave at the end of the game, with an explanation as to why it’s important to you, and bring it to me tomorrow.”

When the session ends, Dr. Mendel tells us we need to come an hour earlier for our next appointment. Adam isn’t happy about having to wake up before noon but, we don’t have any other choice.

We’re both quiet on the way back to the apartment. It’s not like we have a lot to talk about. The only thing we can talk about without arguing is the band and, to be honest, it just doesn’t feel like much of a priority anymore. 

The apartment is warm and stuffy when we arrive. Adam probably turned the air conditioner off before we left. He likes it that way. Eddie always jokes that it’s because it reminds him of his home in Hell.

“Alright it’s one-fifteen. Let’s get this over with.”

He takes his phone and sets it on the bed next to him.

“Do you wanna start?” I ask. I can’t think of anything.

Adam stares me down for a few seconds. I can tell he’s going to start with something physical.

“I like your eyes.” He says. It’s the most generic compliment he could have ever come up with but it’s a start. “I think blue eyes are the prettiest.”

I have to come up with something fast.

“I like how passionate you are about things. Like, when you sat in front of the TV for three days straight watching Fight Club over and over again.”

Adam looks pleased that I put so much effort into it. I could have said something like, I like your hair or, I like the way you dress but, little superficial things like that aren’t going to help much.   
“I like that you’re selfless. Even when you hate me, you still hold my hair back when I’m puking tequila shots in the handicapped stall, and that’s pretty cool.”

I could have done without the detailed description. It’s pretty flattering that he thinks of me as “caring”, though. I’ve never considered it.

It’s hard to think of anything else. Especially with the time limit. I complimented him on the only thing I like. Everything else about him sucks.

“Come on. You’re wasting time.” Adam says, as if this weren’t difficult enough for me already.

I’ll go with something physical.

“I like your ass.”

There. I said it.

Adam covers his mouth and laughs.

“You really do? I didn’t know that.”

Time is passing but we’re both sort of ignoring it now. We’re laughing too hard. It’s his turn now.

“Do you like, check my ass out in the mirror since it’s technically yours now?” He asks.

I never did. Now that he’s planted the idea in my head, I might, though.

There’s no way he’s ever gonna let this go. Good thing I didn’t compliment his dick. The rest of the game goes the way I think Dr. Mendel wanted it to. Some of the compliments are ridiculous but, there were a few things that were brought to the surface that neither of us knew about.

This is probably the first time in years we’re actually doing okay. We’re both imagining Dr. Mendel reading the comments we've written.

 

“Adam’s ass looks great. I noticed it the other day.”

“John can grow a beard like a motherfucker.”

“I like the way Adam always orders way more food than he can actually eat so, he shares whatever he has leftover with everyone else.”

“It’s cool how John always let me use his ID when I wasn’t old enough to get into bars.”

Will she take us seriously? Probably not. Some of these are just too weird. She’ll probably think we bullshitted the whole thing and give us a different assignment.

Adam yawns and rubs the outer corner of his eye with the heel of his hand.

“Since we’re finished with this shit. I’m gonna take a nap. I didn’t sleep good last night.”

That’s my cue to go out for a while. I’ve learned over the years, that Adam is nocturnal. His “nap” won’t be any less than five hours.

“I’m gonna go run a few errands, I guess.” I tell him.

He looks over at my bed and then back at me.

“Stay here and take a nap with me. I’ll fall asleep faster.”

I want to tell him that it’s almost like, one-hundred-and-fifty-fucking-thousand degrees in here and being so close under blankets won’t help much but, I don’t. We’re in a pretty good place right now and I don’t want to ruin it. 

Hopefully things stay like this.


	6. Chapter 6

The sun is just beginning to set when I wake up from my nap. How long was I asleep? I look over at Adam who is lying on his back with one of his arms behind his head. I’m surprised it hasn’t gone numb and woken him up yet.

We’re still not ourselves. I guess getting along for a few hours isn’t good enough. 

My stomach growls and I realize I haven’t eaten anything since this morning. I just haven’t been hungry lately. I’m not sure if it’s from stress or because Adam’s body is just used to living off of whiskey and the occasional vending machine snack.

I decide to let Adam sleep. There’s less of a chance we’ll get into a fight if he’s out cold like this. 

“John?” He groans. 

Never mind. He’s up. 

“What?” I ask.

When he doesn’t open his eyes, I realize he’s not actually awake at all. He’s talking in his sleep. I’ve never heard him do that before. Maybe it’s something that I do. 

“John. Don’t do it. I can’t fix this.” The words come out slurred but I can still make it out.

“Adam.” 

I can see him trying to close his fist. His fingers curl towards his palm. He’s almost got it but, the coordination just isn’t quite there. 

“John you broke my arm!” His voice is panicked.

“Adam!” I repeat a little louder. “You’re having a lucid dream. Wake up.” 

I watch him squirm around for a few seconds before he finally forces his eyes open. 

“Fuck. My hand is asleep. I had a dream you pinned me down and broke my arm. It was weird.” 

He sits up and I take a seat next to him. I’m still starving but, food can wait. Right now, I wanna put my arm around him and tell him it’s gonna be okay. It’s just this weird thing that I have going on. As annoying as he is, I can’t help but feel protective of him. 

“You look so freaked out, man. It was just a dream.” I reassure him. 

“Yeah. I know. It felt real, though.”

He rests his head on my shoulder. If he were himself, and not me, I’d probably pull him closer. It’s times like these when I remember that he’s not actually a demon from Hell. 

Fuck it. I’m just gonna be weird and go for it. I’m not going to cuddle with him. I’ll just let him know how I really feel. It can’t hurt. If anything, it might bring us closer to getting back to normal. 

“You know when we played that game?” I ask, trying to figure out the best way to start my confession. 

“Yeah?”

“I meant everything I said. I mean, I didn’t just make shit up for the sake of getting it over with.” 

“I know.” 

Not the reaction I wanted. I guess this is what I get for being so high strung. He probably doesn’t even believe me. This kind of shitty communication is what got us into this in the first place.

“No like, I get frustrated with you because you make things so fuckin’ hard for all of us when we’re trying to get things done.”

He looks pissed off and offended. Attacking him like that wasn’t the best way to start. 

“I worry about you when you don’t show up when you say you will, or when you start trying to pick fights with guys twice your size. It freaks me out because I love you so much. We all do.” 

Adam looks down and gives me sort of a half smile. 

“Shut the fuck up, John.” He says, playfully. “You’re being all gross.” 

“I know. Sorry. Just pretend I didn’t say anything.”

He’s not going to forget. 

“So, is that why you’re such an asshole all the time?” He asks.

 

It sucks that he thinks I’m an asshole but, I’m not gonna make him drop the conversation. I wanna know how he honestly feels about me. The whole truth. No holding back. 

“I never meant to be like that.” 

That’s a terrible excuse.

“I always kinda feel like you’re judging me.” Adam says, “Like, I used to kinda look up to you because you were so fuckin’ cool. Now, I’m just like ‘okay...I’m gonna get drunk but I gotta hide it or John’s gonna lecture me about it.’ You know?”

Shit. I’m worse than I thought I was. I feel so bad now. I was so wrapped up in the band and the business side of things... 

“If we ever get back in our own bodies, I promise we can hang out again like before. Alright?”

Adam laughs to himself and it makes me nervous. What the fuck did I get myself into? This is why I don’t do talks like this. I always end up being too nice and then fucking myself over.

“You’re not gonna judge me if I decide to bring home a couple of people?”

Honestly, that depends.

“Are you talking about having friends over or having like, a threesome?”

“A threesome.”

The thought doesn’t gross me out as much as it probably should. I’ve accidentally seen and heard my fair share of shit since we first started hanging out. And, it’s not just from him. When you spend so much time with four other people, you’re bound to walk in on something.

“I’m not gonna judge you because it’s your business but, don’t think I wanna hear about it. And don’t you dare fuck anybody while you’re me. Don’t even flirt.”

I can tell he’s bummed out. Too bad. That’s where I draw the line. Just because I apologized, doesn’t mean he gets a free pass to ruin my life.

“You’re so boring, John. I wanna know what it’s like to fuck somebody in someone else’s body. How many other people get that experience?”

He’s not wrong but, that doesn’t mean I wanna do it.

“Alright. You can flirt with strangers. That’s all though. Nothing else.”

“What if I want to fuck myself in your body. I wanna know what that’s like.”

I can tell he doesn’t really mean it. He’s just trying to get a reaction from me. 

“Don’t be weird. That’s gross.”

He can’t hold back his laughter anymore.

“I know. I just wanted to see what you would say. The look on your face was--”

I didn’t think my reaction was that funny. He’s in hysterics, though. Unable to get out the rest of his sentence because he’s laughing too hard. 

And I can’t help but laugh because he’s laughing.


	7. Chapter 7

By the time midnight rolls around, I’m starting to feel sick. I can’t exactly put my finger on what’s wrong. A dull ache kind of radiates all over my body, accompanied by slight waves of nausea.

“Fuck. I’m gonna lay down for a while. I don’t know if it’s because I slept all day, or what but, I feel like shit all of a sudden.” I tell Adam.

He looks at me curiously. I guess it’s because I don’t normally complain about things like that. He’s the one who goes into over-the-top theatrics every time he catches a cold.

“I don’t feel good either. You think it’s food poisoning?”

It could be. We had ordered shitty takeout earlier. So, food poisoning definitely isn’t out of the question.

“You look pretty sick.” Adam points out, “Maybe you should go take a warm bath. That’s what I do when I’m feelin’ bad.”

That’s a good idea. It’s nice having him be the caretaker for once.

“The tub is pretty big. We could both take it at the same time, right?” I ask.

I hope he doesn’t take it the wrong way. I’m not asking for anything sexual, especially since we’re switched. I just don’t want him to wait on me while I’m trying to relax. Besides, I’ve actually been enjoying his company so far. It’s been a long time since I’ve genuinely wanted to be around him.

Why am I such an asshole? Why do I fuck up every good friendship I’ve ever had?

Adam, fortunately, doesn’t seem to think anything of my suggestion. We’ve seen everything there is to see. Nudity is nothing now. He follows me into the bathroom and watches as I adjust the water temperature, sticking my hand under the faucet until it feels just right.

“Can we take a bubble bath?” Adam asks.

“Do you have bubbles?”

Adam checks under the sink where I had found his nail polish before. I don’t think he has any. If he does, I haven’t seen it.

“Wait! Here!” 

Well, shit. He did have some bubble bath in there after all.  
“Remember that hotel we went to that had the really nice beds? I kept all of the complementary toiletries I got.”

I don’t remember the hotel at all but, I nod my head and accept the story as truth. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s told some bullshit story. I don’t know if he’s lying on purpose, or if he just has some kind of fucked up memory issues, or if I’m the one who can’t remember these things.

He dumps the entire contents of the travel sized bottle into the tub and watches it bubble as the tub fills. I undress get in first, trying not to pop all of them before he gets in. Adam stands in front of the tub, trying to figure out how he’s going to fit. There’s less room than I thought.

“Hurry up and get in. I hate looking at myself standing there, naked.” I tell him. 

He laughs, presumably at my insecurities. I pull my knees up to my chest, giving him some space to get in. 

“This would work better if I could just lay on top of you. Y’know, like both of us on our backs but...” He says, trying to act out what he’s thinking of with his hands. I get what he’s saying but, I don’t think it’ll work. I would have to be on the bottom and I would feel trapped.

The water is too hot. I should tell Adam to run some colder water but, the tub is already full enough as is. It’ll cool off. At least it helps with the strange ache. My skin is turning pink from the heat.

“This is nice.” Adam says. He doesn’t seem to mind the scalding water as he scoops up a handful of bubbles and wipes it on his chin. “Did you ever make bubble beards when you were a kid?” He asks.

We don’t normally talk about our childhoods. I’m surprised he asked.

“Yeah. Of course I did. I don’t need to now, though. My beard grows way too fast. I gotta shave like, twice a day.”

My exaggeration makes him laugh. He’s been laughing a lot lately. Even before all of this, he didn't laugh that much. Maybe it’s some way of coping. I don’t know. It’s nice to see him smile, though. 

“I’m gonna miss being this hairy.” Adam says. “You should keep this beard once we switch back. It looks good.”

I know he’s complaining about my chest hair. I get it. He’s jealous.

“If you grow a beard, I’ll grow one.” I say. 

My body still feels like it’s on fire even though the water has cooled off some. I try not to let him know.

“You alright?” Adam asks. He notices anyway. I can tell by the way his cheeks are pink, that he’s hot too.

“Yeah. Just feel kinda sick.”

I’m trying to play it off like it’s no big deal. He must not feel as bad as I do.

“Don’t pass out on me, John.”

I won’t pass out. It’s probably just food poisoning. Being in the wrong body is just making it worse. Adam is probably more sensitive to things than I am and I’m not used to it. I’ll be okay. I just need to take a deep breath and

I open my eyes when I hear frantic banging on the door. The water is freezing cold now and Adam is staring back at me wide-eyed.

“Adam! John! Are you guys okay?” It’s Eddie’s voice. He must have let himself into the apartment. Fuck, he’s gonna be so mad that we worried him. 

“Should I call 911?” We can hear Shaun’s worried voice in the background.

Adam looks shocked, completely confused by what’s going on. I think we passed out. 

Adam looks shocked. 

Adam.

I’m looking right at him. His big fuckin naked ass self sitting across from me, soaking wet in the cold water.

“We switched back!” I whisper. 

Eddie is still pounding on the door.

“It’s okay, Eddie. I’m taking a bath.” I yell.

Thank God we both lock the bathroom door out of habit, otherwise the entire band would probably be in here with us.

“We’ve been here for an hour!” Shaun yells back. “What are you guys doing?”

I get up and grab a towel to wrap around my waist. Adam does the same. I don’t know how we’re going to explain taking three hour bath together and being totally unresponsive to their efforts to get our attention. 

“We got food poisoning.” Adam says as he opens the door, “John took a bath and I took a shower. I guess we didn’t hear y’all over the water.”

He’s a good liar. They seem to believe him. I guess the sick feeling was us switching back.

“We weren’t fucking in there. I know that’s what you’re thinkin’” Adam says. He knows if he grosses them out they’ll stop asking questions.

I’m so happy to have my best friend.


End file.
